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"Let us simplify matters for those new to Scripture. One day—probably
soon—the Lord God will summon His faithful through the instantaneous
gathering-in known as the Rapture. The Seven Years of Tribulations will then
ensue. An Antichrist will lead the forces of evil from victory to victory. When
the Remnants of Good seem on the verge of extirpation, all human history
suddenly will come to a halt: Jesus Christ will return to earth in glory and
judgment. And that is the End of Days.... Approximately.... give or take a day
or two. "
-- Dr. Kennedy P. Throckmorton
Dean, Revelation Bible Seminary (USA)
Proclaim your faith with our attractive product line. T-shirts, Mugs,
Barbecue Aprons, ready for your order. All profits to
Christian missions as soon as Jesus returns.
Hollywood stars stand watch for first sign of the ascendance of the Faithful.
Delegations from the world's Great Cities lobby Divine Authorities for
selection as Official Site for the upcoming Glorious Appearance.
This Week: New York versus Sioux Falls.
More and more Christians are seeing evidence of The Lord Jesus in unexpected
places. Submit Your Own Entry to the Apparition Gallery!
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No shirt is required for viewing the End of Days! (shoes are recommended
however)
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8/3/06 - News Media Reports: "Armageddon Near". Still Time To Get
Your Bets In!
From CNN, MSNBC,
and Fox News come breaking news reports that the war in the Middle
East is a clear sign of the End of Days. So what does this mean to
you, Mr. Joe Public Lunch-Pail Heathen guy? It means you might have
only a few, precious days left to... enter your guess in our
million dollar contest, When and Where Will Jesus Appear! Yay, there's
still time! Enter below, all previously established terms and conditions
apply, unless of course we get smote... smited... smitten?... eh,
whatever, smacked down by God first.
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Tell us the time and place of Our Savior's Second Coming and win one million dollars for your church or synagogue! A certified check for that amount now lies in a safe deposit box at one of America's most trusted financial institutions. The check will be presented to the house of worship of the person who submits the premonition closest to the actual time Jesus returns to the earth in corporeal form, as certified by our Distinguished Interfaith Panel and the Price Waterhouse Corporation. Enter now!
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Distinguished Interfaith Panel
(l-r): The Scorpion King; Rabbi Don Rickles;
Rev. Al Sharpton; Cardinal Bernard Law (ret.); Dr. Stephen J.
Hawking.
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Too Busy to, Like, Actually Read All Twelve Books?
- Do YOU want to know all about the series of books that has all America talking, and American evangelicals raving?
- Do YOU want to understand the biblically-prophesied events
that the books relate in prose that reviewers have called "turgid", "dreadful", and "more painful to the eyes than staring at a thousand suns"?
- Are YOU too lazy or intelligent to actually read the "Left Behind" books
for yourself?
If you answered YES or NO to any, all, or none of the above
questions, you need to read our
quick-and-easy guide to the publishing phenomenon of
the moment. Concise, precise, and not based on any knowledge of the actual contents
of any of the books, these capsule reviews - each highighting a sentence or
passage reflective of the series' lyricism and beauty can be saved, printed,
and collected to read over and over again.
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Book One: Left Behind
So, like, everyone around the world is kinda kicking it and stuff, and then
suddenly, like, a bunch of them disappear: you know, kinda like when you're
at a party and someone starts playing Cameo CDs... and some of the people
who don't disappear are, like, "Wow, cool, more room for me." Read more...
Useful For Exams:
"The terrifying truth was that he knew all too well. Irene had been right.
He, and most of his passengers, had been left behind."
Cheat Sheet for Books 1-12
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Shockingly, it appears that people can be a little sensitive about religion. Go figure. But we think you'll agree that the response
has been almost completely positive! Hooray for Jesus!
- I snapped this picture on the sidewalk outside
of a restaurant in upstate NY. hope you can see what I saw.
* Editors' Note: Uhhh... concrete? Sweet! We like concrete too...
- This is the most hysterical website I have seen in a long time. I laughed out loud through most of it.
Keep up the good work...
- This is really sad. One day, you will remember your mocking, and will regret it.
* Editors' Note: Guess the day we will regret our mocking, win a million
dollars!!!
- Why did Jesus cross the road?
Because he was nailed to a chicken.
- I THINK THIS SITE IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!! YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED,
STOP THIS SITE AND ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOU!! YOU ARE NOT SHOWING HIM THE RESPECT SO SOOOO TRULY DESERVES.
- Hey, I saw you website, and so I wanted to say.
Here I am! I am back. Sorry to say though, no rapture, no apocolypse, no fanfare.
Just me, Jesus Christ saying, "Stop f#!*ing praying to me! - Jesus H Christ
* Editors' Note: Hey, that's not you... Jesus doesn't swear...
- if you think that Jesus is coming back in a human way or not at all, you REALLLLLY need to reread you're Bible or
read it for the first time!
* Editors' Note: Tried once. Not as good as the DaVinci Code. Now, that
was a good yarn... did you read that? You should read that sometime.
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Proclaim your faith with our attractive product line. T-shirts, Mugs,
Barbecue Aprons, Frisbees, ready for your order. All profits to
Christian missions as soon as Jesus returns. |
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